Kill Shakespeare

    So, I know it's Christmas today and I should be celebrating with my family, but something happened today that made me livid and insanely jealous. I got quite a few amazing gifts today, which I am very thankful for. They include: A Pittsburgh Penguins hat, a Harry Potter Movie Magic book, a pink roots sweater, a scarf and a Sidney Crosby Team Canada Jersey. But my mother got something so cool, so awesome, so marvelous that I can not contain my dismay any longer. She received, from my father, a book. But it's not just any old book; it's a graphic novel called, Kill Shakespeare. It's like Kill Bill, but 10x better. I know this sounds like a ridiculous thing to be jealous of, but the book is the coolest thing I've ever laid eyes on.
    Basically, the book takes place in a world in which  all of Shakespeare's characters reside. His most frightening villains( Richard III, Lady Macbeth and Iago) believe Hamlet to be a prophesied ‘Shadow King’. Richard the III offers Hamlet the fantastic deal of he will bring Hamlet’s dead father back to life (with the assistance of his three witches) if Hamlet can track down a reclusive wizard… by the name of William Shakespeare. Shakespeare's greatest heroes(Hamlet, Juliet, Falstaff and Othello) are known as prodigals trying find Shakespeare to defeat the evil Richard III. Genius.
      I wanted this book since the first time I saw it, and my mother received it. But the worst part is, she doesn't even seem to care that she got it. It'll probably just get placed in her dusty, ancient bookshelf for the rest of eternity. Maybe I'll just steal it.

The Good, Old Hockey Game

   Yesterday at 7:00pm, the Pittsburgh Penguins had a game in Buffalo. Instead of watching it at home, I was watching it from about 200 ft in the air, seated in a uncomfortable, navy blue chair (Oh no! I'm typing in rhyme!). That's right folks, I was at the game, face to face with my future husband, Sid the kid. Well, it wasn't really face to face because I had to squint to see him, but it was all good.
     Before the game began, my family and I walked up the never ending staircase of doom to our "nosebleed" seats just in time to see the Penguins and the Sabres warming up. As we were treading our way up, I saw him. Sidney looked like a perfect, enchanting, handsome angel. Well, a really, really small, Polly pocket size angel. As we were fawning over our favourite hockey player , two American Sabres fans came to their seats and sat down beside us. At first, the men seemed reasonably respectful but as soon as the game started, their real, disgusting personalities came out. Every single damn time Sidney touched the puck, they'd start booing. No really, every single time. I really wanted to punch them in the face, but I decided that wouldn't be such a smart idea. One of men was clearly intoxicated, I could smell it on his tacky, Buffalo jersey. When Crosby was talking to the referee, he shouted "You're just like Gretzky! A whiner!" Uhh, dude. Gretzky was the greatest hockey player to ever live, so that's quite a nice compliment. And then when Max Talbot was hurt he screamed "Get up you little suck!" I was seriously super angry, I really wished one of the hockey players would come up and hit him. But Max was okay, so I could breathe a sigh of relief. Max is a good player, french Canadian and sexy; it would have been terrible to lose him. Whenever our goalie, Marc-Andre Fleury, made a save, the drunk guy would scream "Fleury's terrible in net. He's a girl!" At one point, I said quietly "What if I like girls..." and this kind lady sitting in front of me laughed. I liked her, even though she was rooting for the other team.
      That's what different from Canadian hockey fans and American hockey fans, we have respect. I know I wrote a blog on how we shouldn't categorize groups of people, but every single American fan I saw was the exact same way. Whenever our team got a goal, they'd boo. Whenever Crosby was on the ice, they'd call him a fag. Sorry, but I think that's so mean. I know the hockey world isn't rainbows and butterflies, but shouting and calling a hard working hockey player names is just about as rude as it gets, and those were just the Buffalo fans. A group of rowdy, drunk, American Penguins fans, in the section beside us, left the arena shouting "Pittsburgh rocks! Buffalo sucks!" I mean, you're in the other team's arena and they just lost (big time). Show some respect for the other team.
    Even though my night was somewhat spoiled by the rude drunks sitting beside me, I still had a fantastic time. The Penguins won, 5-2, and Crosby got an assist to keep up his 18 game point streak, which made me very happy. To further prove my point from before, as the lady in front of me was leaving, she shook my hand and said "Good game. That Crosby of yours in quite good." I noticed she was wearing a Canada Olympic hat and gloves.

Hockey Karma

If anyone knows me well, they know I love Sidney Crosby. Hell, even if people don’t know me well they still know I love him. I am very passionate and obsessive when it comes to him and his team, the Pittsburgh Penguins. So how do you think I’d feel when some “hot shot”, 5 foot nothing grade nine boy comes up to me and says “The Penguins suck. The Capitals are way better and Crosby is gay.” No, I didn’t beat him up. But I did tell him something that cannot be mentioned on this blog. Anyways, this child has been coming up to me on a day-to-day basis telling me how much my lovely team and future husband suck. I hate it and I’ve always tried to find a way to get back at him. Yesterday, I did.

I was walking in the hall, minding my own business and wearing my marvellous, pink Pittsburgh Penguins scarf. The super annoying child walks by me and says “Ovechkin is still better than Crosby.” I ignored the little creep this time because I had a Footloose performance that night that I was excited about, and Crosby scored a hat trick on the weekend and Ovechkin didn’t. After Footloose, I rushed home to watch the end of the Pittsburgh Penguins game, and was pleasantly surprised. Sidney had just scored a hat trick. It was his second hat trick in 3 games. I was actually beaming with joy. Then I realized the Washington Capitals lost 2-1 to the Dallas Stars, possibly one of the worst teams in the NHL, the same night. After this, I was beaming with even more joy. Karma’s a bitch Ovechkin kid.

Forever and Not Always

Taylor Swift: Country singer, actress, fashion icon, activist, and someone who needs to shut up. Now don’t get me wrong, I like Taylor Swift and her music. No matter what you’re feeling, she has a song that will make you feel better but sometimes, she really pisses me off. I’m not saying she’s not talented, because she is. And I’m not saying I don’t like her clothes, because I do but she needs to learn when to shut her mouth. She basically is a grown woman who imagines she’s classy and sophisticated, yet talks (in detail) about her past boyfriends on national television. Seriously, no one cares that Joe Jonas broke up with you on a 25 second phone call or how John Mayer tricked you into falling for him. If boys keep breaking up with you Tay, there’s got to be something you’re doing wrong too.

Taylor also is a privileged girl who acts like she’s had a hard life because she was awkward in high school. Everyone is awkward in high school. She sees herself as a deep, earnest songwriter when really; she’s just a pretty face cashing in on the same insane, slut-slamming, fairytale insanity in practically everything she does. Stop wiping the tear drops off your guitar and write a song that doesn’t have anything to do with boys or being “strong”. Taylor wants her fans to see her as a badass for writing songs about her ex-lovers but she also wants them to see her as this poor, innocent victim if anybody tries to do the same to her. No one cares what Kanye did to you anymore. Beyonce’s music video was one of the greatest videos of all time. Deal with it. Sure, she plays guitar and writes her own songs. BUT THEY ALL SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME. I mean, holy shit. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I’d be listening to the same song on repeat.

Oh, and by the way, ROMEO AND JULIET KILL THEMSELVES, THEY DO NOT END UP HAPPILY MARRIED. If you want your fans to believe that Romeo and Juliet ended up happily, go ahead, but Shakespeare is probably turning in his grave.