Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

"I Call Dibs on Harry": A Wedding of Royal Proportions

On Friday morning at 4:00 in the morning, I was seated in front of the television wearing yoga pants, my Jonathan Toews Chicago Blackhawks shirt and large white hat covered in roses. If someone were to glance into the living room from the street, they'd probably be wondering where my straight jacket was. But I was not in fact insane, I was just getting into the spirit for the Royal Wedding! I was so tired that morning, that forgot to put the toilet seat down and almost fell in the toilet. It was really quite terrifying. But when Prince William and Harry came onto the screen, clad in their military uniforms and ear-to-ear smiles, my eyes lit up with happiness. William looked so darn handsome! Harry looked pretty darn good too. Really good in fact. My 5 year romance was instantly rekindled with the younger, rebellious Prince.
I almost fell asleep again until Kate Middleton stepped into the car going to Westminster Abby. She looked so beautiful waving to everyone with her adorable (and priceless) tiara! It wasn't until I saw her entire dress that I freaked out. It was so classy and elegant that I felt really under dressed in my hockey shirt. Watching the entire event was a honour, and something I'll remember for the rest of my life. I witnessed history, and I loved every moment of it. All and all, the Royal Wedding wasn't really about Kate's dress, Harry's hotness, the tiara, the kiss, Princess Beatrice's hideous Lady Gaga hat or even David Beckham's hair (which was the best part of the wedding by the way)! The Wedding was about two young people saying "I do" who truly love each other, and will never make their parents mistakes because of this. I think Kate and William will last the test of time and I wish them happiness in their marriage. Oh, when I do that, I should also tell William to put in a good word for me to Harry. After all, I called dibs on him 5 years ago. Royal band wagoners, back off.

Friday, April 22, 2011

"Oh hell nay!": A Shakespeare Pwned Story

Yesterday, while I was creeping on facebook, I noticed a status made by a young man in my English class. He was talking about how Shakespeare's Hamlet was actually enjoyable. Before the comment was made, I talked to him in class about how amazing Shakespeare could really be (through the use of my favourite graphic novel Kill Shakespeare). I, "having the power of having rather too much of my own way and a disposition to think a little too well of myself", decided to comment on this status. I stated that Shakespeare's work is absolutely marvelous [awesome] and awaited my reply. I definitely got it. Some ignorant fool commented on the status saying "Shakespeare can go f*** an alligator". "Oh hell nay" I said, utterly appalled. 20 seconds later, the fool added "Shakespeare sux (oh lord) no matter what you say gurl." This was the last straw. I was not going to allow some complete idiot to use improper spelling on my facebook wall. Strongly believing in the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer", I intensely studied his facebook. Surprisingly, his favourite movie was The Lion King. A grin, so evil appeared upon my face that I just had to laugh, evilly. I had won. Promptly, I comment back, "Just so you know ignorant child, The Lion King's plot was directly taken from Shakespeare's masterpiece Hamlet." It was over, no matter what the fool said as a comeback (it was quite rude). Don't mess with a Shakespeare fanatic. Next time child, think before you type for Shakespeare states "Better a witty fool than a foolish wit." Pwned.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Hot Waiter Man Part Two

Last Friday was probably not one of the greatest days I've ever had. Since my Grandmother passed away on Wednesday, and the visitation was on Friday, I wasn't really feeling very happy. After the visitation, my family and I went out for dinner because we hadn't seen each other for a while. Kelsey's was the restaurant of choice. I was feeling really upset when we first sat down and was trying extremely had not to cry. Much to my surprise, "hotty waiter of the century" came to take our order. As he went down the table taking orders from my other family members, I couldn't help but stare. He was perfection in the form of a over enthusiastic, apron wearing waiter man. When he asked me what I wanted, I quietly said "white milk"(I freaking love milk). "Okay, white wine" he answered back as he proceeded to write the order on his notepad. Just about every one at the table burst into laughter, including myself. Hot waiter man started laughing and realized that I was indeed not over the age limit, but was in fact, 17 years old. But here's the best part. He touched my arm, told me his name was Ryan and that he was sorry. He touched my arm. Oh, and it doesn't stop there. Every single time he came back to the table he would make some crack about giving me white wine. It was both a embarrassment, and a relief. Ryan indirectly made me feel a little better about my Grandmother and cheered me up for the time being. He also helped me realize that I can order alcohol without anyone realizing that I'm 17. Just kidding, but seriously, it's true.

Rest in Peace Grandma

On Wednesday, my Grandmother passed away peacefully at the age of 91. I'll miss her so much.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What If You Could Stop Him?

Yesterday I went to the Tim Burton exhibit in Toronto. It was pretty creepy but I must admit that Tim is a genius. Afterwards, we went shopping. I got this really comfy Roots sweater and a magnet. Then I came home and went on the computer. That's when I saw the greatest article I've read in a really long time, got on my knees, and started to cry tears of joy. Sidney Crosby skated for the first time since his concussion. Now mind you, it was only for 15 minutes but it was still something. Still progress. One step closer to him coming back. Not even kidding, this was one of the happiest days of my life. I mean, Sidney just never quits! No matter what happens to this man, he always finds a way to overcome it, and show it who's boss. Not getting picked for the Olympics? Four years later, he scored the golden goal. Losing to the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup finals? One year later, he became the youngest captain to ever hoist hockey's Holy Grail. Who knows what he'll do to overcome this throwback but I know in my heart it will be even more amazing than the other two.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Explosion of my Ovaries

I officially have no life. This is what I do everyday: Wake up, get ready, go to school, walk home, do homework, practice piano, eat dinner, sit at the computer staring at pictures of Sidney Crosby, watch my programs, take a shower and go to bed. Not even kidding. I do this exact same routine day in and day out. So going on the Pittsburgh Penguins website and seeing "New: Sidney Crosby interview" I freaked out.

Of course, it wasn't anything about his concussion. Sidney's too reclusive to talk about that. It was actually better. The Penguins hosted a practice and a lunch for 30 children from the Make-a-Wish Foundation today. It broke my heart seeing these children who are sick meeting their favourite players, they just looked so happy. I really wish certain people would realize that hockey players aren't big, stupid, vicious lugs who do nothing but fight. Sure, some of them are, but the ones I saw in this video had compassion for children and truly cared about them. Sidney actually sat at the tables of every family there and got to know them. One little girl asked to take a picture with him, and he hugged her afterwards. My ovaries exploded.

Friday, March 4, 2011

"We are the true north, strong and free and what’s more is that we didn’t just say it, we made it be.

withglowinghearts-:

When defining Canada, you might list some statistics. You might mention our tallest building or biggest lake. You might shake a tree in the fall and call a red leaf Canada. You might rattle off some celebrities, might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie. Might even mention the fact that we’ve got a few Barenaked Ladies or that we made these crazy things, like zippers, electric cars and washing machines. When defining Canada it seems the world’s anthem has been, “been there done that” and maybe that’s where we used to be at. It’s true. We’ve done and we’ve been, we’ve seen all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine and turned into theme parks. But when defining Canada, don’t forget to mention that we have set sparks. We are not just fishing stories about the one that got away. We do more than sit around and say “eh?” and yes, we are the home of the Rocket and the Great One. Who inspired little number nines, and little number ninety-nines. But we’re more than just hockey and fishing lines off of the rocky coast of the Maritimes and some say what defines us is something as simple as please and thank you. And as for you’re welcome, well we say that too, but we are more than genteel or civilized. We are an idea in the process of being realized. We are young, we are cultures strung together then woven into a tapestry and the design is what makes us more than the sum total of our history. We are an experiment going right for a change. With influences that range from a to zed, and yes we say zed instead of zee. We are the colours of Chinatown and the coffee of Little Italy, we dream so big that there are those who would call our ambition an industry because we are more than sticky maple syrup and clean snow. We do more than grow wheat and brew beer. We are vineyards of good year after good year. We reforest what we clear because we believe in generations beyond our own knowing now that so many of us have grown past what used to be, we can stand here today filled with all the hope people have when they say things like “someday”. Someday we’ll be great, someday we’ll be this or that. Someday we’ll be at a point when someday was yesterday and all of our aspirations will pay the way for those who on that day look towards tomorrow and still they say someday.
We will reach the goals we set and we will get interest on our inspiration because we are more than a nation of whale watchers and lumberjacks, more than backpacks and hiking trails. We are hammers and nails building bridges towards those who are willing to walk across. We are the lost-and-found for all those who might find themselves at a loss. We are not the see-through gloss or glamour of those who clamour for the failings of others. We are fathers brothers sisters and mothers, uncles and nephews aunts and nieces. We are cousins. We are found missing puzzle pieces. We are families with room at the table for newcomers. We are more than summers and winters, more than on and off seasons. We are the reasons people have for wanting to stay because we are more than what we say or do. We live to get past what we go through and learn who we are. We are students. Students who study the studiousness of studying, so we know what as well as why, we don’t have all the answers, but we try and the effort is what makes us more. We don’t all know what it is in life we’re looking for, so keep exploring, go far and wide or go inside but go deep, go deep as if James Cameron was filming a sequel to The Abyss. And suddenly there was this location scout, trying to figure some way out to get inside you because you’ve been through hell and high water and you went deep keep exploring.
Because we are more than a laundry list of things to do and places to see. We are more than hills to ski or countryside ponds to skate. We are the abandoned hesitation of all those who can’t wait. We are first-rate greasy-spoon diners and healthy-living cafes. A country that is all the ways you choose to live. A land that can give you variety because we are choices. We are millions upon millions of voices shouting, “keep exploring… we are more”. We are the surprise the world has in store for you, it’s true.
Canada is the “what” in “what’s new?”, so don’t say “been there done that” unless you’ve sat on the sidewalk while chalk artists draw still lifes on the concrete of a kid in the street, beatboxing to Neil Young for fun. Don’t say you’ve been there done that unless you’ve been here doing it. Let this country be your first-aid kit for all the times you get sick of the same old same old. Let us be the story told to your friends and when that story ends, leave chapters for the next time you’ll come back. Next time pack for all the things you didn’t pack for the first time, but don’t let your luggage define your travels. Each life unravels differently and experiences are what make up the colours of our tapestry.
We are the true north, strong and free and what’s more is that we didn’t just say it, we made it be.
-Shane Koyczan

I woke up this morning aching. It wasn't the Charley horse that I received the second I stepped out of bed, which made me think I was going to die. It also wasn't the excruciating stubbed toe I got from falling over my chair. I didn't realize what I was aching from until I went downstairs and glanced at the Vancouver 2010 Olympic DVD my parents bought me for Valentines day. That's when I realized what I was suffering from, at full force: Olympic withdrawal.

As I popped in the disk, I couldn't help but remember Alexandre Bilodeau's gold medal run, or Joannie Rochette's brave, bronze medal skate. Watching the opening ceremonies, I got a little teary eyed. The beautiful version of "Oh Canada" made me stand up with my hand on my heart. The killer whales that swam across the arena made me want to go whale watching, and the kilt wearing fiddle man made me want to take up highland dancing again. It wasn't until I saw Wayne Gretzky running with torch that I actually started crying. I miss waking up every morning in February, listening to Brian Williams voice tell me about how we were doing. I miss cheering "Loouuuuu!" every waking second of the hockey games, even if Canada isn't playing. I miss how they could bring a country together and I miss no one making fun of me when I walk though the halls of Westdale wearing my Team Canada Crosby jersey; I miss that one more than you will ever know.

The memories of ice dancing gold, Patrick Chan and the Golden Goal came flooding back to me as I hugged my stuffed, Quatchi mascot. Whenever I look at something, I'm reminded by the Olympics. Ice, snow, gold and even the chair in front of the television that I sat on as the Golden Goal was scored remind me of them. But the Olympics were so much more than the medals we won or the legends that were born. It was about coming together as a nation and realizing what we could accomplish. It was about realizing that we were more than just fishing, Tim Horton's coffees, beavers, zippers and ice hockey. Realizing that we were more than polite people, curlers, mounties and maple syrup tappers. As I was listening to the speech by Shane Koyczan, I understood that the Olympics were about realizing we should always, no matter what the circumstances are, be proud to be Canadian.